A slight fuck up on my part as this domain name expired left visitors to this site looking at ads for penis enlargement etc (“Yaay! Improvement!” you say) Anyway, trying to fix the problem ended up with me having to pay both my hosting provider and my domain registrar for the domain coz one of them was being a difficult douchebag. I’m not bitter or anything but lets just say Santa is gonna be taking a dump this Christmas in the stockings of a certain person from a company “India Internets” (I know, what an original name, right?)

Moral of the story: Always buy your domain and your hosting from the same company. It shall save you money and yelling into the phone while you pull out your hair.

Anyway, normal programming resumes now. If you were one of the people who would rather look at penis enlargement ads click here. If you are reading this and thinking “Wait. What? You were gone for a while?” Eff you too.

Random, Tech douchebag, India Internets

So, a few days back the Delhi High Court sort of revoked Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code. (it makes sodomy a crime, along with bestiality) And just my luck that I find myself in a new city, sitting in some old geezer’s house as the news channels whip themselves into a frenzy about how this will lead to people running amok in the streets, buggering anyone caught bending (Bad pun, I know)

So, the old geezer is one of those religious farts and he starts right off with his mini-polemic about how sodomy is a Sin and Unnatural according to the Bible and how the Delhi High Court has in one fell swoop, legalised bestiality too, the fools!

He carries on about the Pope (creepy picture above) and the Queen of England being the head of the church and both of them saying that this is deviant, unnatural behaviour (bestiality and sodomy) and he goes on and on and on….

Read more…

Rants Article 377 IPC, Church, Delhi High Court, douchebag, Gay People In India, Jesus, Pope Benedict XVI

Sorry for the bad grammar. But thats it. I can’t take it anymore. No more Times of India. I’m not paying a hundred bucks a month to look at a main paper that is filled with nothing but redundant, syndicated stories from the AP or Reuters and full-page, government adverts about what a great job it is doing and a supplement (Delhi Times) that is filled with bad pictures of wannabes and has-beens, only there for the free booze, at parties that are so lame that they have to pay for coverage. I mean seriously who are all these fuckers? Are we shipping them in from somewhere in trucks or something?

And the government adverts in the main paper? Sonia Gandhi, Shiela Dixit or some other cowherd-looking ‘government servant’ grinning at me idiotically from every second page and our ‘Health Minister’ Ramadoss-something-or-the-other’s mug on every third page. It makes my blood boil.

As a Delhiite, I harbour a particularly deep seated and vicious loathing for Dixit (Is she still Delhi’s CM?) Every time I’m stuck on the stretch of road with the fucking BRT corridor on it I curse her and the IIT dudes responsible for this mess in language that would make a sailor blush. I do it loudly, with the windows down. People nod and cheer.

And Ramadoss. Jesus, what is this dude’s fucking problem anyways? Why is he so desperate to get his mug in the papers and on television everyday? Will someone just give him a two bit role in a South Indian film and let him get it outta his system? First he fucks with AIIMS, then he wants to outlaw smoking, now he wants to outlaw alcohol. Let me just say this to him.

THE COMMON PEOPLE NEED THEIR VICES MR. HEALTH MINISTER. IT’S THE ONLY THING KEEPING US FROM RUNNING WILD IN THE STREETS AND LYNCHING GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS.

That goes double for Dixit and the Gandhis. And you politicians know where you can stick those adverts too.

So anyways, no more Times of India. It pisses me off too much nowadays (as you can see). Between The Indian Express and The Hindustan Times I think I’m killing enough trees as it is. The news is filled with stories of how print newspapers are dying. I say it can’t happen fast enough.

Random, Rants AP, BRT, BRT corridor, Delhi, Delhi CM, douchebag, gandhi, Hindustan Times, Indian Health Minister, Ramadoss, Ramadoss vs. AIIMS, Reuters, Shiela Dixit, Sonia Gandhi, The Indian Express, The Times Of India

So, out of all the films I watched this week, the funniest and most entertaining by far was the hugely sacrilegious comedy/documentary ‘Religulous’. It’s been directed by Larry Charles, the director of ‘Borat’ and a writer on ‘Seinfeld’ and written and presented by comedian and social critic Bill Maher who’s best endorsement (for me) comes in the form of a report on Anti-Catholicism which claimed that, following the 2002 clergy sex abuse scandal, “no one insulted Catholics more than Bill Maher”. Brilliant!

Whatever you views on religion are, you really have to watch this film. It’s funny as hell. (Though if you’re the type that believes in the immaculate conception or armies of monkey-men you’d better have a thick skin)

Bill Maher (who also presents the film) totally rips into organised religion of all kinds, the film is brilliantly edited for maximum effect and is full of scathing one liners that will make you laugh out loud. Here’s the trailer:

Read more…

Films Bill Maher, Borat, Catholic Church, douchebag, Larry Charles, PeTA, Pope Benedict XVI, Religulous, Seinfeld

Recently a blogger, Chyetanya Kunte posted this retraction on his blog, an apology for an earlier post where he totally trashed NDTV and Barkha Dutt in particular for their coverage of the Mumbai blasts. NDTV obviously threatened to sue the poor bastard which shows the new depths this once venerable network has sunk to.

My own thoughts about the massacre in Mumbai and Ms. Dutt’s coverage can be seen here and here. Basically, a very large part of the infuriating, stomach-turning experience of watching the terrorist attacks in Mumbai last year was the ‘journalist’ seen here with some BS award.

To put it very mildly Ms. Dutt and NDTV, sucked! Big-time. But then, the channel that I once had a lot of respect for has made it’s full-time job sucking for the past few years. But this is a new low.

Is NDTV so thick that it tries to sue a blogger? Do these stupid twats understand anything about freedom of speech? Personal opinion? How the internet works? Honestly. You can’t never, ever make someone take down a posting on the internet because once it is online it is in the wild, it will be around forever, even if the original poster takes it down. 

As for the apology from Mr. Kunte let me just say this to the folks at NDTV. Your channel and news coverage sucked. Barkha Dutt sucked even harder. You idiots want to sue everyone who thinks so? There are thousands of people on Facebook in a group called ‘Make Barkha Shut the Fuck Up!” (Or some such shit to that effect) One of the more popular search terms people use to find this blog is (and I kid you not) ‘BARKHA DUTT BITCH’.

Get your head out of your asses NDTV. If it looks like shit, smells like shit and tastes like shit it probably is shit. You guys had a respectable channel. But somewhere along the way egos, ratings, political agendas and advertising money made you join in the race with every other news channel in a downward spiral into the lowest common denominator sort of news and guess what? You’ve won the race. There is no respect for you within the industry. Even normal household viewers who are essentially opinion-less sheep that you have dumbed down with BS news about kids stuck in gutters and the US election now realise that the ‘news’ you air is essentially content-free filler between the ad breaks.

Read the full story for Mr. Kunte’s apology and the original post he wrote after the mumbai massacre.

Read more…

Rants barkha dutt, douchebag, mumbai, mumbai blasts, mumbai terror attacks, NDTV, NDTV vs Blogger

Doesn’t it give you a warm, fuzzy feeling inside to know that in these hard, credit crunch ridden times there are still douchebags out there with waaay more money than sense?

Random douchebag, Lamborghini

In today’s Times of India. This dude in particular and the Gandhi clan in general really need to get their head out of their collective behind. Telling design students to get into politics?

I’m surprised the students didn’t laugh his ass outta there.

Random, Rants douchebag, gandhi, National Institute of Design, NID, Rahul Gandhi, Rahul Gandhi at NID, Rahul Gandhi visits NID, The Times Of India

1. Auto Rickshaws or three-wheeled tempos at their top speed of 40 kmph, spewing fumes in the right lane.

2. Person/Persons honking incessantly while in gridlocked traffic.

3. Person/Persons with car that is obviously faster than mine, driving at 40 kmph in front of me. The pedal on the right makes you go faster douchebag. Fucking use it!

4. Call centre cabs weaving through traffic. Actually any white MPV with yellow plates.

5. Person riding a two-wheeler, cutting me off in traffic while reading a fucking SMS on his cellular phone.

Fives, Rants Auto Rickshaws, Call centre cabs, Delhi Traffic, douchebag

So. The shit-storm of revelations about Satyam is easing up a bit and the papers have moved on to the next Big Story.

To be honest I don’ t really give a fuck about the company going tits-up, the creative accounting practices, the investors taking a bath etc. etc. ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

All of this has happened before, many, many times and will happen again for sure. What is really intriguing to someone like me (who’s understanding of all the ramifications of the scandal is weak, to say the least) is how the same damn names crop up every time the crap hits the rotary cooling device.

How come the good people at PriceWaterhouseCoopers aren’t getting their arses nailed to the wall for the Satyam debacle? Why didn’t they get nailed when Global Trust Bank tanked and all its share-holders lost their shirts. Why do these bastards get away time after time?

Lets just take it as a given that all big business is corrupt okay? Then why not at least put the onus for accountability on the firms doing the accounting and auditing for big business? I may be totally wrong about this but aren’t these companies supposed to make sure book-cooking doesn’t happen? Geez. Read more…

Rants credit card companies, douchebag, PriceWaterhouseCoopers, Ramalingam Raju, Satyam accounting scandal, Satyam Employees, Satyam fiasco, Wrong-a-Lingam Raju

On the front page of ‘The Times Of India’ today were many articles about India’s ongoing war of words with Pakistan about the terror attacks in Mumbai but one little sub-article made me laugh until coffee came outta my nose. 

Here’s the text:

Indian dossier credible: Mulford

    A day after authorities in Pakistan rubbished India’s dossier linking Pakistani nationals with the Mumbai attacks, US ambassador to India David C Mulford said the evidence provided to Islamabad by New Delhi was ‘‘credible’’. Mulford told TOI on Wednesday that the dossier had been prepared with help from the FBI. “The US is not in the business of compiling evidence that is not credible,” he said when asked about Pakistan dismissing it.

The US isn’t in the business of compiling evidence that is not credible? Are you fucking kidding me? Does anyone remember the ongoing War in Iraq? Does anyone remember that they never found any WMDs (Weapons of Mass Destruction,nukes) in the country? None. Not a single one. Zilch. Zip. Nada. (Proof of nukes was the US’s reason for invading Iraq.)  

And the US now admits it fucked up. I still remember watching the press conference a few years back where then CIA chief George Tenet said that the US had ‘SLAM DUNK EVIDENCE’ that Iraq had WMDs.

SLAM. DUNK. EVIDENCE. Repeat those three words aloud to yourself. This is the Chief of the most important, most powerful intelligence agency of the most powerful country in the world. An agency that has shaped world events either openly or behind the scenes like no other. Read more…

Books, Rants At the Center of the Storm, Bombay, bombay blasts, David Mulford, Dick Cheney, douchebag, George Tenet, i love america, i love you america, iraq nukes, Iraq War, Legacy of Ashes, mumbai, mumbai terror attacks, Nukes, SLAM DUNK EVIDENCE, The History of the CIA, The Times Of India, Tim Weiner, US ambassador to India, WMDs