On the front page of ‘The Times Of India’ today were many articles about India’s ongoing war of words with Pakistan about the terror attacks in Mumbai but one little sub-article made me laugh until coffee came outta my nose. 

Here’s the text:

Indian dossier credible: Mulford

    A day after authorities in Pakistan rubbished India’s dossier linking Pakistani nationals with the Mumbai attacks, US ambassador to India David C Mulford said the evidence provided to Islamabad by New Delhi was ‘‘credible’’. Mulford told TOI on Wednesday that the dossier had been prepared with help from the FBI. “The US is not in the business of compiling evidence that is not credible,” he said when asked about Pakistan dismissing it.

The US isn’t in the business of compiling evidence that is not credible? Are you fucking kidding me? Does anyone remember the ongoing War in Iraq? Does anyone remember that they never found any WMDs (Weapons of Mass Destruction,nukes) in the country? None. Not a single one. Zilch. Zip. Nada. (Proof of nukes was the US’s reason for invading Iraq.)  

And the US now admits it fucked up. I still remember watching the press conference a few years back where then CIA chief George Tenet said that the US had ‘SLAM DUNK EVIDENCE’ that Iraq had WMDs.

SLAM. DUNK. EVIDENCE. Repeat those three words aloud to yourself. This is the Chief of the most important, most powerful intelligence agency of the most powerful country in the world. An agency that has shaped world events either openly or behind the scenes like no other.

(For a complete, blow by blow account of the CIA’s history, read ‘Legacy of Ashes: The History of the CIA’ by  Tim Weiner.)

If one douchebag talking like a teenage frat boy wasn’t bad enough, Vice-President Dick Cheney later appeared on television and repeated the moronic statement twice while defending the US’s decision to go to war with Iraq.   

In his defence George Tenet later wrote a book ‘At the Center of the Storm’ in which he was self critical about the statement and also admitted that those were the dumbest  three words to ever come out of a person’s mouth.

All I can say to the US ambassador to India, David Mulford, is this:

HEY MR. US AMBASSADOR! SLAM DUNK THIS!

This is a follow-up to my previous post. Bombay. How I loved you.

Lets start with the ‘media industry’. A lot of people raised a huge stink about Barkha Dutt’s grating coverage of the events and the huge cock-up about whether the hostage situation at Nariman House was over or not. There is even a group on Facebook called ‘Get Barkha off air’ or some such crap.

Please. Get Barkha off air? She may look like a dog, sound like nails on a chalkboard and ask the most inane questions but people who say that she used to be great but has sold out, ought to get a clue. Also, part of essential reading for all students of journalism and mass communication, especially all the wannabe Barkha Dutts doing piece-to-cameras for news channels ought to be this book.

Manufacturing Consent: The Political Economy of the Mass Media – Noam Chomsky

Newspapers are hardly any better. My paper of choice is ‘The Times of India’ which has always been like toilet paper but worse. (At least toilet paper is honest about what it is). It has been  a couple of weeks and ToI has done its bit by covering the clueless fashion frat lighting candles at Jantar-Mantar in Delhi and some self-important dweebs in Mumbai fighting with the cops for their right to demonstrate at the Gateway of India.

So ToI has gone back to its regular drivel. Yesterday there was a full page picture of some old douche-bag with an expensive hair-cut astride a Triumph Rocket. Though, to put that into perspective TOI is part of Bennett and Coleman, the company that brought you the epitome of a double-think, mind-fuck: The Advertorial

Some thoughts about the politicians.

1. Narendra Modi grand standing in front of the Oberoi. – Why didn’t we trade that murdering rat-bastard to the terrorists for some hostages?

2. Priyanka Gandhi telling the press that her mother, Indira Gandhi would have handled the hostage situation better. -  Please, just get over yourself and your clan. All of you.

3. Raj Thackeray and the Thackeray ilk in general skulking furtively during the whole episode – Why can’t you Thackerays be like this all the time?

4. Manmohan Singh’s speech. – Mr Singh. You disappoint me.

Another Facebook group that I have been invited to join (and have also ignored) is one called ‘Dedicate your profile picture to the Indian flag’. There are a myriad reasons why I think the idea is repulsive, jingoistic BS but a friend of mine has described her feelings about our national flag and national anthem better than I ever could. Read Namrata Siviya here.

So. Facebook groups, candles at the Jantar Mantar, demonstrations at the Gateway of India, this is the best the middle and upper classes can do (besides writing self important blog posts like the one you are reading.)

There is one part of me that hopes Delhi’s notoriously thuggish cops lathi-charge the pompous twats at the Jantar-Mantar and Mumbai’s cops push the demonstrators at the Gateway into the Arabian Sea (It can’t possibly get murkier can it ?)

But then, what is the proper response? How do normal people express their outrage at the events? How about a dignified silence? Would that be better? Would it be more respectful to every single person who died an utterly pointless death? (Including the terrorists)

I was at a concert a few days after the attacks and before it started everyone stood up and observed a minute’s silence for the people who had died. I may be very wrong but that respectful silence seemed like a much better idea than anything else I have seen in the weeks since.