So. While the whole tech/blog world is caught up in Apple’s brilliantly orchestrated storm of leaks, guessing games, waaaay-too-elaborate renders/mock-ups and general breathlessness about the heavily rumoured but never officially acknowledged Tablet/Slate computer I’m sitting here cursing this piece-of-crap operating system they pooped out last year. Yeah, I’m talking about Snow Leopard (hereon called Slow Leopard)

Wasn’t this supposed to be The world’s best operating system, finely tuned?

Why has boot time gone from a snappy 25 odd seconds to a minute or more? Why does Slow Leopard need to restart every couple of days when Leopard could easily go for weeks without a reboot?

Why do both my screens get a grey tint and my keyboard and mouse stop working when I try and logout instead of restarting to save time? Which then necessitates a hold-down-the-power-button-and-hear-the-sickening-clunk-of-the-hard-drive as the system shuts off while you get Windows ME flashbacks.

And all this grief for what? No new features besides the ability to play movie clips in the icon itself! Thanks Cupertino. Thats real useful. Slow claps for you. Windows users… eat your heart out.

Is anyone else hating Snow Leopard as much as I am? Is there anyone else who just wants the 10.6.3 update to fix the myriad bugs that make Slow Leopard painful to use? Are there other users who don’t give a flying fuck about a freakin’ tablet computer and just want their expensive aluminium (yes thats the way the English speaking world spells that word) bodied computers to just work, as advertised?

Also, Superdrives. Fuck Superdrives. Mine seem to die on me every couple of months at the exact time I need to burn a few copies of my showreel to send out. This has happened so often that staff at my Apple reseller avert their faces and try not to make eye contact with me every time I walk in with a broken Mac. I feel like it’s my fault sometimes.

Anyhoo…. Rant over. Happy thoughts now.

There is nothing that can cheer you up after spending hours stuck in traffic like looking over into the next car and seeing that a girl you used to date looks like she has spent her life, post-you, stuffing fatty foods into her face with both hands.

Fucking.           Priceless.

Rants, Tech apple, exes, iPad, Leopard, Mac, Slow Leopard, Snow Leopard, Superdrive, Windows ME

That and the beeping and booping. Can you imagine using a computer that constantly made some sort of sound for every UI interaction?

Geeeez…

(via unplggd.com)

Random, Rants, Tech

This video assaulted my mind waaay too early in the morning today. No, I did not see this at Onion.com and this is NOT satire. This is an actual Christian Rap Group (And if you have never heard Christian Rap or Christian Rock you haven’t lived) singing about the dangers of hugging people head-on where your crotches are actually (GASP!) touching. They call it (andIkidyounot) “Satan’s lustful arm wrap”

Play the video, listen carefully to the lyrics and hurt your brain at your own risk.

Once again. THIS IS NOT SATIRE. These fuckers are dead serious.

Music, Random, Rants Christian Rap, Christian Rock, Christian Side Hug, Jesus, Religious Fundamentalism, Satan’s lustful arm wrap

I’ve been listening to a whole lot of music from Norwegian duo, Kings  of Convenience and off their second album Riot on an Empty Street, this is my favourite single repeat song, The Build Up, featuring Canadian singer Feist.

(Alright, I’m giving up on trying to fix the grammar and punctuation in  the previous sentence. It can’t be done. Besides, in a world where the dictionary now has the word unfriend in it  and people who write for a living don’t know the difference between the words your and you’re I think I spend waaay too much time obsessing about grammar and punctuation, so much that spelling mistakes throw me off when I’m reading ahem… erotica (I know, I know, waaaaaaaay too much information and for the nerds among us… a parentheses inside a parentheses but what can I say…. proper grammar is sexy!))

I almost forgot… Get the MP3 Here.

Music, Random, Rants Feist, grammar is sexy, Kings Of Convenience, Quiet is the New Loud, Riot on an Empty Street, single repeat song, The Build Up, unfriend

One of the upshots of the ‘Cash for Clunkers’ programs put into place by many countries (U.S.A, Germany, U.K., to name a few) to stimulate the economy and ’save or create’ jobs is that thousands of perfectly decent cars (the ‘clunkers’ traded in) must be destroyed. This is one of the many videos of these clunkers being put to death that is floating around on ‘teh internets’, it looks like a late model Volvo S60 on death row. As part of the deal the car dealers accepting these cars as trade-ins must destroy them. They do this by putting either sulphuric acid or some sort of liquid glass compound into the cars’ engines which are first drained off of oil and then run them till they tear themselves apart.

But can anyone spot what is wrong with this video?

THIS CAR ISN’T A GODDAMN CLUNKER!

Read more…

Rants Cash for Clunkers, Jobs, Obama, S60, Save or Create, Volvo, Volvo being destroyed

So, a few days back the Delhi High Court sort of revoked Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code. (it makes sodomy a crime, along with bestiality) And just my luck that I find myself in a new city, sitting in some old geezer’s house as the news channels whip themselves into a frenzy about how this will lead to people running amok in the streets, buggering anyone caught bending (Bad pun, I know)

So, the old geezer is one of those religious farts and he starts right off with his mini-polemic about how sodomy is a Sin and Unnatural according to the Bible and how the Delhi High Court has in one fell swoop, legalised bestiality too, the fools!

He carries on about the Pope (creepy picture above) and the Queen of England being the head of the church and both of them saying that this is deviant, unnatural behaviour (bestiality and sodomy) and he goes on and on and on….

Read more…

Rants Article 377 IPC, Church, Delhi High Court, douchebag, Gay People In India, Jesus, Pope Benedict XVI

Absolutely brilliant execution. Shame about the concept.

I caught a glimpse of this on television a few days back and was intrigued. I saw the full ad film today and I groaned.

Ironman meets the Transformers in a Nike ad? Why are the motorcycles playing basket-ball? Hasn’t ‘machines come to life when the guard isn’t looking’ been done to death? Did one of the bikes do the fucking moonwalk?

Have I been transported back to nineteen hundred and nintey two?

P.S. While on the subject of time travel, I just started reading H.G. Wells’ The Time Machine and it is freakin’ amazing, like most books that I read totally fuck-all abridged versions of when I was in school as part of the curriculum. No wonder kids don’t read.

Books, Films, Rants Bajaj, HG Wells, New Bajaj transformers TV spot, The Time Machine

Hi all (four of you). It’s been quite a while since I’ve done a proper post (the BS Youtube video posts don’t count) but sickness and a recce that keeps getting postponed over and over again have kept me from writing.

BTW if you’re wondering what my affliction was, I had/have a runny nose, a fever and the nerdiest of them all, an asthma relapse. That’s right ladies! They call me Sexx-Y! (Just like that catchy/crap song by ‘The Ting-Tings‘ that I can’t get outta my head, MP3 Here.)

So, the screenshot on the right with my retarded digital scrawl on it. Let me explain. I’ve posted about Google Analytics before. If you let Google put a bit of code on your web pages they will give you all kinds of interesting information about people who visit your site. For example, a listing of all the search terms people have keyed into Google that led them to this website.

So, the other day I was looking at the Google Analytics app on my iPod Touch (BTW, that app is so well made that I’ve stopped looking at the site on a computer) and amongst the many search strings that included the name of NDTV’s most famous anchor was the one you see here. Needless to say, my nose instantly wrinkled, my face contorted into a potty expression and a loud, involuntary EEEWWWWWWW! escaped my lips before I remembered that:

a> It isn’t nice to comment about how people look.

b> Specially for someone with a mug like mine.

c> Beauty is in the eye…  etc. etc. It takes all sorts to make up this planet and after all, people actually read this site, so there’s obviously no accounting for taste.

Anyway, I’ve walked around with that image in my mind for four days and now it is my gift to you. Enjoy!

Hell! At least it leads some credence to the frankly quite unbelievable stories that friends from NDTV have told me over the years.

So, in closing I shall say “Good for you Ms. Dutt!”

P.S. To the dude who keyed in the search term in question: I know who you are!

P.P.S. To Ms. Dutt: Mail me and I shall give you the dude’s contact info, you never know when you might need it….  and I won’t judge.

Also, on an unrelated note. I caught a glimpse of CNBC TV18 last night and some sardar journo had pitched a shoe at our honourable home minister, Mr. P. Chidambaram. I had/have two observations:

1> The surd in question throws like a girl. (But I shouldn’t talk)

2> Rajdeep Sardesai needs to switch to decaf. Seriously. For the entire three odd minutes that I could bear to watch, Mr. Sardesai looked and sounded like he had been given a chilli enema sometime between when he finished make-up and  when the bulletin started. I’m just sayin’

Music, Random, Rants barkha dutt, CNBC TV18, journalist pitcehs shoe at Chidambaram, journalist throws shoe at Chidambaram, NDTV, P Chidambram, Rajdeep Sardesai, That's Not My Name, The Ting Tings

Please don’t leave smart-arsed one liners about this blog being read exclusively by the women I’ve been with. Haa Haa, I’ve heard all of them before.

So, here’s why I haven’t posted in a few days. First off, I’m torn between:

The knowledge that I ought to post regularly if I want more readers on this blog. (To what end, I haven’t figured out yet.)

&

My long standing laziness and more recent apathy (maybe I’d go so far as to say misanthropy) to everything and everyone around me these days. Its hard to write when everything you see,hear and read about in the world around you either pisses you off or you don’t care enough about much anyways and would rather spend your time blasting away at endless hordes of zombies in Valve Studio’s latest PC game, Left4Dead, which by the way, is absolutely brilliant and deserves to be spoken about in a post of its own, but I digress.

Read more…

Random, Rants Left4Dead, Spammers, Valve

At this early point in El Presidenté’s (my nick name for Obama) first term there are already films calling him out on all the campaign promises he has reneged on and all the lobbyists and ex-banking motherfuckers he has filled his administration with. (Rahm Emmanuel anyone?)

For people not clued in to the conspiracy theories (for want of a better term), this film may seem to go off on the deep end about global banking agendas and a New World Order but even so, just the laundry list of promises (already) broken and shady back room deals makes for thoroughly interesting viewing.

Something for all you Obamabots to really think about and form an opinion that is actually your own, not the product of some fucking Facebook group.

Films, Rants Barack Obama, El Presidenté', facebook, New World Order, Rahm Emmanuel, The Obama Deception