As Mark Twain said, never trust anyone who enjoyed their childhood. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time in my happy place during the last twenty years of the twentieth century, but I digress…

So, the memory. Many, many moons ago in the late nineteen hundred and eighties there was a hindi film I was taken to watch in a cinema hall and then since it was such a great picture that all the grown ups loved so much I was taken to watch it in a cinema hall again.

The film was called HUM and it starred among others, Amitabh Bachan, Govinda and my personal gold-standard of pure, unadulterated manhood, Rajneekanth. For those of you not familiar with the pop culture of this subcontinent think about Steven Seagall and Chuck Norris meeting and making sweet, sweet man-love. Now stop screaming and  retching and think of their love child. Multiply this love child by one hundred with a level bonus for coolness and you have South Indian Demi-God, Rajneekanth.

So normally Hindi film-makers copy songs but in this case they were like “Fuck it! Why copy a popular song when we can just play it on a jukebox and have Govinda and Rajneekanth beat the fucking Bejesus outta some bad guy to the beat?” and then they all gave each other high-fives and shot this video.

What you end up with is a fucking #EPICWIN for entertainment even though it is a #FAIL for originality. Please watch the clip and try not to hurt yourself from laughing too hard. Also because I love you I have scoured the internets and found a version with English subtitles because it has been scientifically proven:

Crap Hindi Film + Ludicrous English subtitles by someone who seems to have little understanding of either language =  DOUBLE THE FUNNY!

So, watch the original video above first and then brace yourself and click play on the hindi video below. Watch for:

1> Govinda and Rajneekanth holding hands and dancing while thrusting hips homoerotically at each other.

2> Totally not fake or pasted on looking moustache on bad guy.

3> Rajneekanth giving us the first clue of the impending ass-whooping the baddie is about to receive by saying to Govinda “SHOW THEM THE PROWESS”

Enjoy! You can thank me later….

Jack Johnson’s new album To The Sea was just released and its more of the same mellow sounds, he doesn’t cover much new ground here and these tracks could just as easily have been off pretty much any of his previous albums. Some would call this album middle-of-the-road and non-offensive derisively and they would have a point. If you are looking for artistic progression you’re going to have to keep looking, there’s none of that here. This track in particular, ‘My Little Girl’ is indicative of most of the album, simple if jaded lyrics and all.

But it isn’t all bad and I’m just happy to have new driving music that helps keep thoughts of vehicular homicide at bay. Honestly.

Get the MP3 Here and enjoy!

I also got sort of suckered into going to watch the new action film starring Angelina Jolie, SALT and here are some things I would rather do than watch that film again.

1> Be kicked really hard in my nuts by every single person in the cinema hall that night.

2> Be slapped really hard in the face by every single person in the cinema hall that night.

3> Listen to an entire Black Eyed Peas song.

4> Listen to Bono spew bullshit about starving kids in Africa for the duration of a Black Eyed Peas song.

You get the idea…

Be good, eat fruit, avoid assholes.

In 2003, British Jazz outfit The Cinematic Orchestra reworked this absolutely awesome track from their previous album Everyday as a score to Russian film-maker Dziga Vertov’s groundbreaking silent documentary film of the same name from 1929.

Get the MP3 here.

Also, since we are stealing from the internets and shit (and because Samreth is your friend) go get the entire ‘Man with a Movie Camera’ album here. You can thank me later.

Be well. Eat fruit and stretch.

So, the kid bro and I had a random instant messaging session the other day that ended up with us discussing women who we used to think were the hotness back in the dizzayy (a decade ago actually, when he was still a prepubescent little runt that ratted me out regularly and I was a teenager who had a three ring circus in his pants coz he was at his lifetime hormonal high) We traded opinions on what we thought of the fine ladies ten years later. (trout lips, scary ass chick, I’d still do her and the ubiquitous awwwwww yeahhhhh!) Which had two weird results..

1. I tracked down this song, Camino De La Vida from a decade old album by French artiste Sergent Garcia and had it blasting through an empty house (not counting the dogs) all weekend. The album is Un Poquito Quema’o and it is a funky blend of jazz and salsa and Cuban music with a bit of electronica that is hard to describe but listen and it will have you shaking your ass.

2. I finally got around to watching the Gul Panag starrer from a few years back, Manorama: Six Feet Under. As the first hindi film I’ve watched in probably a year, I’ve gotta say…… meh! Of course, Gul Panag’s dimpled smile makes me slack jawed and weak in the knees but she disappeared about a third of the way through the film and then there was nothing to distract me from the weak acting and contrived plot except for maybe Vinay Pathak (who directed a brilliant little short film that I saw at a film festival a while back but can’t remember the name off now for the life of me, but I digress..)

Anyways. There you go, a disturbing story, a film recommendation and a single repeat song for the week. Be well, eat fruit.

As always, get the MP3 Here.

What exactly is a tart card? Lemme quote from the site.

“Tart cards are the means by which many London prostitutes advertise their services. Step into almost any central London phone box and you can contemplate up to 80 cards inviting you to be tied, teased, spanked or massaged.”

Click the picture to go see the entire gallery.

I also got dragged, kicking, screaming and cussing to go see the new Tom Hanks starrer, ‘Angels & Demons’.  After unanimously declaring that Dan Brown’s previous rag, The Da Vinci Code was the worst book I had ever read (And I’ve read some utter garbage) I swore to avoid this film like the swine flu. I succesfully dodged a gracious offer from a friend for free passes and was headed for the finish line when the mother pulled rank and said “We’re going” a couple of nights back. It gives me small consolation to know she hated it as much as I did. Serves her right for having such poor taste in films.

We finally got tired of rolling our eyes and sniggering at the plot and the feeble attempts at chemistry between Hanks and his emminently forgettable leading lady and walked right out of the hall when the film was fumbling towards a finalé. Jesus. It was that bad.

I kid you not, there was an ANTI MATTER BOMB in the plot. Please! I HAVE THE 80′s ON THE PHONE HERE. THEY WANT THEIR PLOT BACK!

I did watch the new Star Trek movie and though the film was all good a single line made it totally worth the entire admission price for me.

I’m givin’ her all she’s got captain!

Priceless.

I would have liked an added: I just can’t do it captain! I don’t have the powerrrr!

Definitely worth a watch for trekkies and normal people.

Also, for some reason (don’t ask) I registered Samrethsingh and Themediabitch as twitter handles. Samreth and Mediabitch were already taken. Go figure.

No, I will not be twittering. No one needs to know that I just had a great swim, bathed my dogs, or got fucked by my car servicing bills. The world shall have to do without this info. Be strong people.

On a geeky note Apple had it’s annual World Wide Developer conference and announced cheaper MacBooks and MacBook Pros and that Snow Leopard, their new OS, will only cost 29 USD. Wooo!!

The things that get me excited!

The brother just got himself a MacBook and was going through the usual switcher phases and it reminded me of this ad from almost two decades ago. To this day it takes great self control to keep from blurting out the last line from this ad whenever a PC user is bitching about computer problems.

Intel’s new ad film. Love it.

P.S. No animals were injured in the making of this film and hard as it is to believe, no drugs or alcohol were involved in the making of this film.

Absolutely brilliant execution. Shame about the concept.

I caught a glimpse of this on television a few days back and was intrigued. I saw the full ad film today and I groaned.

Ironman meets the Transformers in a Nike ad? Why are the motorcycles playing basket-ball? Hasn’t ‘machines come to life when the guard isn’t looking’ been done to death? Did one of the bikes do the fucking moonwalk?

Have I been transported back to nineteen hundred and nintey two?

P.S. While on the subject of time travel, I just started reading H.G. Wells’ The Time Machine and it is freakin’ amazing, like most books that I read totally fuck-all abridged versions of when I was in school as part of the curriculum. No wonder kids don’t read.

Also, since South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are two of the few people in the industry that actually understand ‘teh internets’, you can actually watch the entire episode online. And not just if you were born in the USA! They won’t block you even if you’re sitting in a third world country like India! Woot!

Click on the image to go watch the full epsiode.

Spoiler: Just for bonus points (in my book at least) they sucker punch El Presidenté at the end. Priceless.

At this early point in El Presidenté’s (my nick name for Obama) first term there are already films calling him out on all the campaign promises he has reneged on and all the lobbyists and ex-banking motherfuckers he has filled his administration with. (Rahm Emmanuel anyone?)

For people not clued in to the conspiracy theories (for want of a better term), this film may seem to go off on the deep end about global banking agendas and a New World Order but even so, just the laundry list of promises (already) broken and shady back room deals makes for thoroughly interesting viewing.

Something for all you Obamabots to really think about and form an opinion that is actually your own, not the product of some fucking Facebook group.

Take Five, from SanFran based jazz band, The Dave Brubeck Quartet‘s 1959 album, Time Out. It was also the title track to the brilliant British television show, The Secret Life of Machines, which I have previously written about.

Get the MP3 here.

Anyone even marginally intelligent can finally understand the the basics of the credit crisis and the esoteric financial terms being bandied about these days, like sub-prime mortgages, CDO’s and Credit Default Swaps with this brilliantly simple animation by Jonathan Jarvis. Hopefully if enough people understand how the economy got into the toilet we’ll see the train coming at us the next time around.

One of the funniest shows on television right now is HBO’s ‘Flight of the Conchords‘, a musical sitcom about a couple of dudes from New Zealand trying to make it in the Big Apple as a band. It’s so funny it’ll make your toes curl.

Obviously it won’t EVER make it to our shores because the networks are too busy milking the ‘Friends’ syndication by running endless re-runs of it that people watch for the billionth time. Crap.

UPDATE: The website watchtheconchords.com had all the episodes online so you could watch them in your browser but now, when you click on any of the episodes you get a terse message “Video removed due to copyright infringement”.

Well, Fuckyouverymuch HBO!

So, torrent the entire show here. They are currently in their second season but watch the first season to begin with. Happy copyright infringing!

P.S. Piratebay.org and Transmission, the two reasons I haven’t owned, watched or missed television in 4 years.

P.P.S. Post number one hundred!

Whatever you views on religion are, you really have to watch this film. It’s funny as hell. (Though if you’re the type that believes in the immaculate conception or armies of monkey-men you’d better have a thick skin)

Bill Maher (who also presents the film) totally rips into organised religion of all kinds, the film is brilliantly edited for maximum effect and is full of scathing one liners that will make you laugh out loud. Here’s the trailer:

Here are some other excellent zingers from Bill Maher:

On the Church: ”The Bear Stearns of organized pedophilia”

On Pope Benedict XVI (The thug looking, gay-hating douchebag I’ve written about here): “he used to be a Nazi and he wears funny hats!”

P.S. One major mark against Bill Maher is that he apparently co-founded PeTA.(Which I’ve written about here) 

Two great Dusty Springfield songs from two great movies.

Above is ‘Spooky’ from Guy Ritchie’s brilliant heist film ‘Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels’ and below is ‘Son of a Preacher Man’ from Quentin Tarantino’s Palme d’Or winning, ‘Pulp Fiction’.

‘Baghdad Five years on..’

Watch all three parts of this short film from last year and then think about how long till the next terrorist attack.

Here’s a previous post about the Iraq war.. 

America, I love you. Seriously.

Read more for the rest of the film.

Part 2

Part 3

Happy Valentine’s Day.

(A day late in what is quickly becoming typical for this blog)