So the other day someone’s tweet reminded me of the crazy/brilliant Prince (or the artist formerly named after a dog) soundtrack to one of the Batman films. The video above. Watching it fired some dormant synapses in my brain and unearthed a memory from my childhood that I had long suppressed.

As Mark Twain said, never trust anyone who enjoyed their childhood. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time in my happy place during the last twenty years of the twentieth century, but I digress…

So, the memory. Many, many moons ago in the late nineteen hundred and eighties there was a hindi film I was taken to watch in a cinema hall and then since it was such a great picture that all the grown ups loved so much I was taken to watch it in a cinema hall again.

The film was called HUM and it starred among others, Amitabh Bachan, Govinda and my personal gold-standard of pure, unadulterated manhood, Rajneekanth. For those of you not familiar with the pop culture of this subcontinent think about Steven Seagall and Chuck Norris meeting and making sweet, sweet man-love. Now stop screaming and  retching and think of their love child. Multiply this love child by one hundred with a level bonus for coolness and you have South Indian Demi-God, Rajneekanth.

So normally Hindi film-makers copy songs but in this case they were like “Fuck it! Why copy a popular song when we can just play it on a jukebox and have Govinda and Rajneekanth beat the fucking Bejesus outta some bad guy to the beat?” and then they all gave each other high-fives and shot this video.

What you end up with is a fucking #EPICWIN for entertainment even though it is a #FAIL for originality. Please watch the clip and try not to hurt yourself from laughing too hard. Also because I love you I have scoured the internets and found a version with English subtitles because it has been scientifically proven:

Crap Hindi Film + Ludicrous English subtitles by someone who seems to have little understanding of either language =  DOUBLE THE FUNNY!

So, watch the original video above first and then brace yourself and click play on the hindi video below. Watch for:

1> Govinda and Rajneekanth holding hands and dancing while thrusting hips homoerotically at each other.

2> Totally not fake or pasted on looking moustache on bad guy.

3> Rajneekanth giving us the first clue of the impending ass-whooping the baddie is about to receive by saying to Govinda “SHOW THEM THE PROWESS”

Enjoy! You can thank me later….

Films, Random, Rants #EPICWIN, #FAIL, Amitabh Bachan, Batman, Chuck Norris, douchebag, Govinda, HUM, Mark Twain, Prince, Rajneekanth, Steven Seagall

Jack Johnson’s new album To The Sea was just released and its more of the same mellow sounds, he doesn’t cover much new ground here and these tracks could just as easily have been off pretty much any of his previous albums. Some would call this album middle-of-the-road and non-offensive derisively and they would have a point. If you are looking for artistic progression you’re going to have to keep looking, there’s none of that here. This track in particular, ‘My Little Girl’ is indicative of most of the album, simple if jaded lyrics and all.

But it isn’t all bad and I’m just happy to have new driving music that helps keep thoughts of vehicular homicide at bay. Honestly.

Get the MP3 Here and enjoy!

I also got sort of suckered into going to watch the new action film starring Angelina Jolie, SALT and here are some things I would rather do than watch that film again.

1> Be kicked really hard in my nuts by every single person in the cinema hall that night.

2> Be slapped really hard in the face by every single person in the cinema hall that night.

3> Listen to an entire Black Eyed Peas song.

4> Listen to Bono spew bullshit about starving kids in Africa for the duration of a Black Eyed Peas song.

You get the idea…

Be good, eat fruit, avoid assholes.

Films, Music, Random Angelina Jolie, Jack Johnson, My Little Girl, Salt, Salt Film Review, single repeat song, To The Sea, To The Sea Review

In 2003, British Jazz outfit The Cinematic Orchestra reworked this absolutely awesome track from their previous album Everyday as a score to Russian film-maker Dziga Vertov’s groundbreaking silent documentary film of the same name from 1929.

Get the MP3 here.

Also, since we are stealing from the internets and shit (and because Samreth is your friend) go get the entire ‘Man with a Movie Camera’ album here. You can thank me later.

Be well. Eat fruit and stretch.

Films, Music Dziga Vertov, Everyday, Man With the Movie Camera, The Cinematic Orchestra

So, the kid bro and I had a random instant messaging session the other day that ended up with us discussing women who we used to think were the hotness back in the dizzayy (a decade ago actually, when he was still a prepubescent little runt that ratted me out regularly and I was a teenager who had a three ring circus in his pants coz he was at his lifetime hormonal high) We traded opinions on what we thought of the fine ladies ten years later. (trout lips, scary ass chick, I’d still do her and the ubiquitous awwwwww yeahhhhh!) Which had two weird results..

1. I tracked down this song, Camino De La Vida from a decade old album by French artiste Sergent Garcia and had it blasting through an empty house (not counting the dogs) all weekend. The album is Un Poquito Quema’o and it is a funky blend of jazz and salsa and Cuban music with a bit of electronica that is hard to describe but listen and it will have you shaking your ass.

2. I finally got around to watching the Gul Panag starrer from a few years back, Manorama: Six Feet Under. As the first hindi film I’ve watched in probably a year, I’ve gotta say…… meh! Of course, Gul Panag’s dimpled smile makes me slack jawed and weak in the knees but she disappeared about a third of the way through the film and then there was nothing to distract me from the weak acting and contrived plot except for maybe Vinay Pathak (who directed a brilliant little short film that I saw at a film festival a while back but can’t remember the name off now for the life of me, but I digress..)

Anyways. There you go, a disturbing story, a film recommendation and a single repeat song for the week. Be well, eat fruit.

As always, get the MP3 Here.

Films, Music, Random Camino De La Vida, Gul Panag, Manorama: Six Feet Under, Sergent Garcia, Un Poquito Quema'o, Vinay Pathak

Wallpaper.com has an excellent gallery of tart cards up on its site. It is enough to warm the heart of any type fan or closet perv.

What exactly is a tart card? Lemme quote from the site.

“Tart cards are the means by which many London prostitutes advertise their services. Step into almost any central London phone box and you can contemplate up to 80 cards inviting you to be tied, teased, spanked or massaged.”

Click the picture to go see the entire gallery.

I also got dragged, kicking, screaming and cussing to go see the new Tom Hanks starrer, ‘Angels & Demons’.  After unanimously declaring that Dan Brown’s previous rag, The Da Vinci Code was the worst book I had ever read (And I’ve read some utter garbage) I swore to avoid this film like the swine flu. I succesfully dodged a gracious offer from a friend for free passes and was headed for the finish line when the mother pulled rank and said “We’re going” a couple of nights back. It gives me small consolation to know she hated it as much as I did. Serves her right for having such poor taste in films. Read more…

Films, Random, Tech Angels & Demons, Angels And Demons, Anti Matter Bomb, apple, MacBook, MacBook Pro, Snow Leopard Pricing, Star Trek, The DaVince Code, Tom Hanks, twitter, twitter.com/samrethsingh, twitter.com/themediabitch, Wallpaper.com, WWDC

Films, Random Advanced Cat Yodelling

The brother just got himself a MacBook and was going through the usual switcher phases and it reminded me of this ad from almost two decades ago. To this day it takes great self control to keep from blurting out the last line from this ad whenever a PC user is bitching about computer problems.

Films, Random, Tech apple, MacBook, Microsoft, Sanjam Singh, Windows 95

Intel’s new ad film. Love it.

Films, Tech Intel, Intel Rock stars ad

For those who ask me often ‘Why are you like this?’ May I present, my mother and one of my dogs, three years ago.

P.S. No animals were injured in the making of this film and hard as it is to believe, no drugs or alcohol were involved in the making of this film.

Films, Random Carlos, crazy dog, doberman pisncher, mother, Sabrina Singh

Absolutely brilliant execution. Shame about the concept.

I caught a glimpse of this on television a few days back and was intrigued. I saw the full ad film today and I groaned.

Ironman meets the Transformers in a Nike ad? Why are the motorcycles playing basket-ball? Hasn’t ‘machines come to life when the guard isn’t looking’ been done to death? Did one of the bikes do the fucking moonwalk?

Have I been transported back to nineteen hundred and nintey two?

P.S. While on the subject of time travel, I just started reading H.G. Wells’ The Time Machine and it is freakin’ amazing, like most books that I read totally fuck-all abridged versions of when I was in school as part of the curriculum. No wonder kids don’t read.

Books, Films, Rants Bajaj, HG Wells, New Bajaj transformers TV spot, The Time Machine