Satyam: My 0.02 US $
So. The shit-storm of revelations about Satyam is easing up a bit and the papers have moved on to the next Big Story.
To be honest I don’ t really give a fuck about the company going tits-up, the creative accounting practices, the investors taking a bath etc. etc. ad infinitum, ad nauseam.
All of this has happened before, many, many times and will happen again for sure. What is really intriguing to someone like me (who’s understanding of all the ramifications of the scandal is weak, to say the least) is how the same damn names crop up every time the crap hits the rotary cooling device.
How come the good people at PriceWaterhouseCoopers aren’t getting their arses nailed to the wall for the Satyam debacle? Why didn’t they get nailed when Global Trust Bank tanked and all its share-holders lost their shirts. Why do these bastards get away time after time?
Lets just take it as a given that all big business is corrupt okay? Then why not at least put the onus for accountability on the firms doing the accounting and auditing for big business? I may be totally wrong about this but aren’t these companies supposed to make sure book-cooking doesn’t happen? Geez.
Anyway. The people I really feel bad for are the employees. The are a myriad little tragedies relegated to the inside pages of your favourite daliy. Top performers at the company that turned down jobs elsewhere in ’08 because they thought good things would happen for them at Satyam. Newly married couples (where both partners worked for Satyam) who took loans to buy houses last year and now face the prospect of losing quite literally everything. All the employees who just had the rug pulled out from under them in a big, nasty way.
As always my other favourite kind of organisation, the credit card companies acted totally in character. They immediately zeroed the credit limits of all the employees and called in outstanding amounts. Fucking beautiful isn’t it? The same bastards who literally throw credit cards at you are first in line to kick you in the face when you really need them.
Anyway. While I was looking up Mr. Ramalingam 
Raju (I can never get over names with the word penis in them) on ‘the internets’ I came across this ironic poem on a blog by a guy called Paras Sharma.
It is quite brilliant.
Wrong-a-Lingam Raju
Respected Members of the Board,
My job has become a double-edged sword
Today I am writing you this letter,
To shed my loads and feel much better.
I’ve been hiding a truth
Which has many facets
So here it goes
‘Satyam has no assets!’
You see, unlike I said before,
We don’t really have 7000 crore.
That cash in fact exists nowhere,
I pulled that figure out of thin air.
It started off as harmless fun
I made eleven from one and one.
But then it all got out of hand,
I swear, from thereon, nothing was planned.
I thought I’d be busted
When those fellows did the audit,
But even they didnt seem to spot it!
Yes, I admit,
I’ve been a coward,
I was riding a tiger,
Trying not to get devoured.
But now it seems
The cat can’t be beaten
So sayonara folks!
Guess I’ll soon be eaten.
I wish this didn’t happen,
I wish it weren’t so bad.
But now that it has,
I’m fleeing to Hyderabad!
That’s all I have to say
Before I pack and go
Sorry for your troubles
Signed,
The CEO.